I can’t decide if the new Torchwood is really good or really bad. All I know is that I love it. Here are some things:
Jilly Kitzinger needs a spin-off where she makes downtrodden businesswomen successful through makeovers and lessons in being a cunt. She strikes me as the type to have a “Hang in there!” kitty photo on her iPhone for when times get tough.
Bill Pullman writhing in ecstacy to a cheering crowd makes me feel sick. I might be mistaking his constant head jerking and face pulling for good acting, but whatever, he plays the murdering child molester thing well. I wonder if he’s a method actor…
What is the point in The Soulless? A huge cult wanders the streets in masks and Gwen pretty much shrugs them off. Who could even manage to mass-produce those masks and organise a candle lit vigil in like, two days? Well apart from Jilly Kitzinger.
Literally just been told The Soulless are in the background of every episode? DA FUQ. There are so many mysterious groups that I don’t know what’s going on.
Ominously spinning triangle, you’re so ominous when you spin. I’d prefer the “Ah ah ah! You didn’t say the magic word!” animation from Jurassic Park to pop up though. Ah ah ah, we are always. Ah ah ah, we are no-one.
Is that Jurassic Park guy even still in the show? There are so many characters.
When is Jack actually going to tell Esther and Rex that he’s mad old? Shit is getting tedious. If I hear Esther say “JaCk WhY dO u KeEp sAyInG ThIngS lYk ThAt?” one more time I will climb through the screen and smack her ditzy face.
“Before we started I was asked who would be your ideal cast over there, and amongst a few was the entire cast of Six Feet Under because I’m the biggest fan in the world, and lo and behold there was the beautiful Lauren Ambrose and I literally turned into an absolute berk the entire time I was with her. I was just like this [she stares with wide eyes]. She did actually say to me once “You don’t use your lips much, do you?” It’s because I was frozen with fear and love for her! I was like, ‘Pull it together, Myles. They’re gonna find you out!’ I had a million questions to ask her about Six Feet Under but I thought ‘Stop it Welsh girl, stop your nonsense. They are gonna call an injuction out on you.’ so I snapped out of it after about three scenes, and by then she was totally freaked out by me and wanted nothing to do with me, so it went well!”