shut up, crime!

19 October 11

Comments | 144,488 notes

(Source: fyspringfield)

6 July 11

Comments | 59 notes

19 May 11

Comments | 15 notes

“I thought all religions were a path to God! I was wrong!”
“Why did I put my faith in science and technology?”
“Oh why did I choose to be gay?!”

GPO all of us on Saturday

“I thought all religions were a path to God! I was wrong!”

“Why did I put my faith in science and technology?”

“Oh why did I choose to be gay?!”

GPO all of us on Saturday

12 April 11

Comments | 509 notes

I need the largest seed bell you have… No, that’s too large.

I need the largest seed bell you have… No, that’s too large.

11 April 11

Comments | 21 notes

Your fingers are too fat to dial. To obtain a special dialling wand please mash the keypad with your palm now.

(Source: summeromegadeth)

6 April 11

Comments | 396 notes

All right, this place must be hot. They don’t need a big ad, or even correct spelling.

All right, this place must be hot. They don’t need a big ad, or even correct spelling.

28 March 11

Comments | 6 notes

Dr. Pryor: Don’t judge them too harshly. They recently learned they were once two thirds of conjoined triplets… and the third one is out for revenge.

15 March 11

Comments | 13 notes

Marge: But this will be so confusing! The mailman won't know what to do. Did you think of the mailman at all before you did this?
Homer: Yes, briefly.
Marge: And what about the tattoo on my you-know-what?
Homer: Oh, Honey, they have acids that can burn that off.
Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson! I don't want to snuggle with "Max Power"!
Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the "G"s!
Marge: Oh, Lord.
Homer: And it doesn't stop in the bedroom. Oh, no. I'm taking charge! Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!